I recently went on a road trip through New Zealand and as incredible as it was, I found it hard to do “nothing” without feeling guilty – just travel for the sake of traveling. Without making a film or writing or progressing in any sort of way.
I struggle with letting go of the need to constantly improve. But doing nothing is not irresponsible or even counterproductive, it’s essential for perspective – seeing if all this progress is taking you in the right direction.
I wrote this after the trip »
I’m stuck. Stuck in progress, ambition, achievements, relentless perpetual growth.
As if it doesn’t matter where I’m going as long as I’m shooting for the moon but we all know what happens when you install that update too soon. What do I do when I can’t stop running and last year’s dreams came true and mean nothing?
Realize that the stories you tell yourself about what you should strive for, what you’re capable of and what you need, are fabricated. To avoid the vulnerability of living in truth, they deflate it. Compelling lies told to replace it. Using so much of your vitality to justify why you’re not doing what you know you must do.
I’ll do it next year, it’s in queue. Or I don’t have what it takes to break through, don’t bite off more than you can chew. It takes a lot of effort to convince myself it’s true.
I grew up on just do it, impossible is nothing, you only live once, be all you can be and I listened. Conditioned for progress, never fearing it. But the priority became maintaining it as opposed to steering it.
You’ll need to shift an ideology that’s deeply implanted. Progress isn’t linear, it’s an assembly. To put it together, first, be empty. Hit the delete button on everything. Create a space where only truth is allowed to cultivate. Lie detect every thought, belief and insight through a security gate.
In this space, let go of what feels heavy and grab a hold of what feels right. Unanchored by rules, schedules and convention. Be light. Open, patient, content. No to-do lists. No intent.
But I feel guilty when I do nothing. Like it’s counterproductive, even irresponsible, like I’m avoiding something.
You’re a product of the “doer” culture that doesn’t welcome the in-between space. It wants you to leap from one goal to the next in a never ending chase. It’s debilitating, disorienting, intangible. While the clarity that comes from surrendering to emptiness is invaluable. You’re not falling short of anything.
Dive into whatever’s inviting. In this space, exploration isn’t limited to what makes sense but whatever feels exciting.
I’ve been here before but felt reluctant. Despite how enjoyable it can be, I never embraced it without judgment.
Expect resistance when allowing time to incubate. If you tear open a cocoon to free a butterfly, you’ll ruined the process that forms its wings. Don’t ask how long this is going to take. Or what aligning with truth will awake.
Just know that a new future is taking root. A map is being designed. Simple and resolute. Renewing. Slowly expanding. In the emptiness, something is brewing.
Photo » @whereisyali
